Morning Musing

I know that I need to write more, but I’ve ignored the urge so much that when I sit down to finally do it, my mind goes blank. And then I allow myself to become distracted until I don’t have time to do any actual writing. Needless to say, the books I have floating around in my head are still unwritten. In fact, there’s quite a bit floating around up there in my dreams that I plan to get to… some day. (More than I care to admit, actually.)

But what about TODAY?

Most days, I’ll convince myself that I can’t. That I don’t have enough time, money, experience, clout… I’ll find ways to keep busy and justify my lack of progress. I’ll say I can do it tomorrow, that it’s not important enough for today, that something else needs my attention more – the kids, the house, the finances… you know, real life. Or I’ll once again fall victim to my triggers and lose hours out of my day as I process.

But the truth is, until I make writing a priority – it won’t be. Until I decide to stop letting those negative voices and excuses impede my success, they won’t. Until I accept that my needs are real, my dreams are important, and my desires are okay, I’ll never fully heal and enjoy my life.

So TODAY, I am going to do life different! Today I am going to tell myself that I CAN and I WILL. Today I am going to make time, earn money, gain experience, give attention. I’m going to allow myself to let go of my perfectionism and enjoy my day. Today, I am going to write.

Welcome to my Morning Musings! 

Call It Writer’s Block

When I had the idea to start this blog, I was pretty excited to get it up and running. The act of actually doing so, I’ve come to realize, is much harder than I had originally anticipated. Nonetheless, I’ve kept trekking along, knowing in my heart of hearts I’m on the path to something, though I’m struggling to see exactly what that something is. Each day my vision becomes a little clearer. Yet, I find myself avoiding this blog and not really sure why. So I decided to evaluate what is holding me back and I’ve come to the following conclusion.

1. Part of the reason: I am scared to openly voice many of my inner thoughts and opinions. This has always been an insecurity of mine. Through years of therapy and independent personal research I have come to understand that this fear of speaking up is really a reflection of some of my deepest rooted fears: the fear of rejection and the fear of abandonment.

~> I’ve realized that the only way to overcome these fears is to trust that I am not capable of handling more than is humanly (physically) possible and that God does not expect me to try. I just need to live the life God intended for me – my life lived to the absolute fullest – and know that He’s got my back on the things that are beyond my control.

2. Most of the reason: I’m not exactly sure what to blog about on a day-to-day basis that would be useful to readers. Call it writer’s block of sorts. I’ve often felt like I have all the puzzle pieces, but tremendous difficulty starting the puzzle.

~> In order to take any sort of action, it’s most useful to have a written plan. In my excitement of the overflow of ideas I had when starting the blog, I jumped in head first, in natural Me fashion. I know what I want to convey, but I am lacking a vital tool to making it happen: a written plan. And what better place to start than from the beginning?

Therefore, the next blog will feature My Story. I will then proceed to outline the envisioned journey of the American Dream Maker. This may include suggested ways to use the American Dream Maker blog regularly, the website’s connection to Becoming Mrs. Casey, and more. Stay tuned!